Update

Well, I cracked and decided to re-write, yes, re-write the past 800 words. I hate them, and I want them die viciously and I can't transition in my story right unless the old ones are deleted and the new ones are written.

I also sort of think I might have over-estimated NaNo a little. Shocking as it sounds, it doesn't seem too hard to write 1,667 words a day. It's kind of relaxing. I have grown extraordinarily close to Ava and my novel is serious in a way that I realize how I could have ever, ever thought of creating and killing characters off with such ease and how that was funny. They may notbe real characters, but pain is part of the world. And I am kind of ashamed I ever made fun of it in writing.

It's painful to write painful situations for Ava, it really is, and at times I feel close to tears for what all my character is going through. But I don't feel like it is my fault. I feel more like a helpless bystander committed to write down what I am seeing.

This is weird, but, well, I am enjoying my story in that I feel it has more purpose than just something I wanted out of my head and on paper.

Current Music: Going Under-Evanescence. Over and over actually, it's perfect for the scene I'm writing.
Current Mood: Dramatic