Cracked again...

Yeah. Re-writing *ducks from Mangy* another small section of NaNo. hlaf the size of the last one though. I wanted to introduce another character, who I will later but I recently introduced Ian.

Dude, I love the name Ian...

Anyways. :P

I tweaked it majorly because it sounded really, really sexist...and that bugged me. Now instead of Ava rescuing Andrew (might as well shoot him or something <_<) I had her run into Ian, her brother who will help her. :)

I like Ian. He rocks.

*in shock*

I think for the first time I am not going to be able to NaNo today. O_O

I'll have to tomorrow, because I am swamped tonight. *whimper*

10,000 WORDS!

WOOHOO!!! *dances*

YEAH!!

This is so cool! I'm so happy and I ended right on schedule and on a happy note. *wub*

But kind of stumped how I'm going to drag this out for another 40,000 words...I mean. Well, *blink* doesn't "so and so got captured" get old after a while?

I'm not sure what to do next. I was planning for an end of them escaping to Canada or something. :\ But that would come too soon.

What I could do is have them move to a different state or Country (Yay Canada!!! hehe, I'm Canadian, it's gettin' in there somehow...) and have them work on US stuff from there. Hm. *unsure*

*cries*

I'm in tears! Literally!

Oh my word I want Ava to have a happy ending so badly! I feel so awful, like I am reading and unguilty for the words I put her through.

But oh my word I hope good will come of it.

Here is what she is feeling:
"...save me! call my name and save me from the dark...bid my blood to run, before I come undone..."
--Evanescence and

"Prison gates won't open up for me, on these hands and knees I'm crawlin' oh I reach for you. Well, I'm terrified of these four walls, these iron bars can't hold my soul and oh I need is you. And oh I scream for you.

I'm fallin'..."
--Nickelback

:(

But she will be saved! She won't have a hopeless end! She will not live in torment and pain and suffering forever and she won't be betrayed by her friends.

*cries some more* I've never been so emotional writing something. :(

Really Poetic

Wow. You know, maybe I haven't been writing enough poetry. Here is a line I just wrote now:


"Warmth spread through my frozen spirit, and the candle of hope re-lit in my dreary soul."

And thus, the rest of tonight's quota shall be written in a poetic rhythm of depth.

First time

Well, for the first time my NaNo has ceased a steady, continous flow. No, I don't have writer's block, however I am not quite sure what to write next.

I am about to introduce an Al, and not sure what his character is going to be like quite yet. I wish I had another entry for another happy scene, however, well, I just can't stuff happy or sad in there. I need to write and see what comes out...

Doing good though, still meeting the daily quota..

Happy

YES!!! A happy scene! Oh my word I almost cried as I wrote it, I was so happy. *wub*

Well, I have half hour to write...500 more words. Shouldn't be too hard if I quit doddling. I'm really into it even though I hadn't planned this far and now I am kind of just making it up as I go along.

But...I discovered something!

Ava is 18, meaning she was sixteen at the beginning in the Prologue. I had thought of her around 30 to begin with. But when she was with Dara, I decided to make Dara and Andrew parent figures. I am happy with this, and it is a relief from that painfully squeezed out romance I have been attempting with my ISOS.

Remind me never to try that again.

Well...

I am just starting today's word count. I should be doing homework, but I couldnt' resist.

I am writing the last violent scene in my NaNo for a while and will be relieved when it's over. I'm introducing Andrew, not part of a rebellion, but he thinks up his own, more subtle, ways to resist. He is willing to be a part of the community and prefers not to become dead. He uses his smarts instead of reckless bravery.

I gots my mood music on for this scene and then WOOHOO...I'll be *blink* stuck. Haven't planned any further than this scene. :-
Current Music: Evanescence - Taking Over Me
Current Mood: One step happier than melancholy

New template

Changed my layout! You like? Eh? Eh?

...

So I still have a lot of tweaking to do. I need to change the ugly banner, and...so I might track down another one...

Exhausted...

Well, I am exhausted from hectic week, the thought of how disapointed my piano teacher will be because I have practiced piano only twice this week including tonight, and my back hurts. It is 1am in the morning and I think Mangy is mad at me for still being...up and on.

I DID IT!

It took me until just now, but I did it! I managed to get that scene re-written AND stay on schedule for my daily NaNo minimum. B) Oh YEAH!

too *yawns* much...excitement....*zz*

Update

Well, I cracked and decided to re-write, yes, re-write the past 800 words. I hate them, and I want them die viciously and I can't transition in my story right unless the old ones are deleted and the new ones are written.

I also sort of think I might have over-estimated NaNo a little. Shocking as it sounds, it doesn't seem too hard to write 1,667 words a day. It's kind of relaxing. I have grown extraordinarily close to Ava and my novel is serious in a way that I realize how I could have ever, ever thought of creating and killing characters off with such ease and how that was funny. They may notbe real characters, but pain is part of the world. And I am kind of ashamed I ever made fun of it in writing.

It's painful to write painful situations for Ava, it really is, and at times I feel close to tears for what all my character is going through. But I don't feel like it is my fault. I feel more like a helpless bystander committed to write down what I am seeing.

This is weird, but, well, I am enjoying my story in that I feel it has more purpose than just something I wanted out of my head and on paper.

Current Music: Going Under-Evanescence. Over and over actually, it's perfect for the scene I'm writing.
Current Mood: Dramatic

I MADE IT!

So it's only the first day. But I have hit the needed word count for today! :D

That is all. :)

Thoughts

Well, ever since my sister posted that thing yelling at me for my negativity, I have talked to Kal about this as well.

If you offer no hope...what do you have left? We can't just tell people
there's a problem. We have to offer them the Solution. Jesus and His salvation
and the hope that comes with that. - Kal

She is so right. In the Prestige, a theme in there was, "you just make something disappear, you must make it reappear."

You can't have one thing without the other.

A hopeless book, or story is less realistic than a "happily ever after" book. Why? Because there is hope, hope of Him.

Now, originally I was going to post my prologue on here. But that is so depressing and hopeless and, well, you get the picture. I am not posting it until the end is written.

Prologue

*cringe* Oi. My prologue right now is so incredibly painful to write. I never thought I would feel this...emotional over writing something. It hurts and I want to cry almost. I have always wanted to write something like this, but at the moment, realizing the depth of what I am writing. I want to incorporate emotion, and I think I'm doing a good job, but I *shrugs*

I don't know.

So it has begun...

Well, I am pounding away at it at last. Happiness reins in my heart, but as usual, not in my story or my characters. I have always had this slightly irritating realist streak in me. (Hehe, so maybe more than a streak...) And in my stories, the negative ending will most likely be the outcome.

I have realized that I oftentimes kill or imprison my characters in the end because it leaves a harder impact.

Now I am not saying this will or won't be the ending of my NaNo, but I decided I needed to say something about it.

My mom has said, "Why can't you write about...butterflies, or puppies or something..."

I can't, because it's not me. It's not real. People either see all the dark in the world, or try to ignore it and see the good.

This world is Satan's kingdom. There is more evil in it than there is good.

And, the words come out thus.

So little time!

I just know I am going to blank out Monday night. I mean isn't that typical? I'm going to have so many ideas planned and am so excited then I am going to blank out and not know how to start. <_<

I started SuNo a little late and finished, but there is a HUGE difference between 15,000 words and 50,000 words. I got the most writing done in Tahoe. And we might be going to Tahoe again! That would be awesome. B)

Anyways I need to go get ready for the library...

Another Character

Fine, I totally admit it, and am not ashamed. My plot is going to parallel Dark Angel in so many ways except my main character is not someone grown, she is a human human without a bar code on the back of her neck and my thing will be totally clean.

Anyways. I have thought up another character. He is the one who saves Ava. However, I am not sure quite yet "who" he is. I feel kind of strongly against "rebellions"...

His name is Andrew and finds Ava when she has just been could-be-fatally stabbed by some of her enemies (she's got a lot of those) . Andrew saves her. *begins thinking* Maybe he could just be running from something and came across her right after whatever he did that made him wanted happens and there could be a dramatic chapter. *ninja* Oohoo, getting excited again...

*gulps* Only 1 week, 1 hour and 35 minutes until NaNo. (yes I did figure that in my head)

Wondering...

Should I fiddle and make this Blog look cool? er? I mean, if I have the template I could just pop in my own colors, my own banner, own fonts, etc., Hm...it's only going to be here for a month so I'm not sure yet..

Updates I guess

I can't wait for this to start. I'm still debating about either writing an outline or just writing "by the seat of my pants" I think was the saying. Most likely it isn't...oh well.

*insert sighing*

I've been wondering if there was any possibility of finishing ISOS and NaNo at the same time if they go on at the same time. . .hm...

Maybe Mangy will extend the deadline since so many people have signed up for NaNo.

Waiting...

Yup. Not much happening except just waiting for it to begin. I had this weird dream last night about being chased through Universal Studios by the security which happened to be my pastor's three 18 year old sons. And I was being chased for doing something "bad" and it was all over the news and I was wanted and everything. I think it turned out sort of violently...

Of course, I have been playing this scene with Ava over and over in my mind and so I am pretty sure that is where the dream originated. Of course, because I am afraid to show my evil side, I will not post the scene here or what I am thinking quite yet.

It's really funny, that Becky and I have both been told by our parents, "Why can't you write about butterflies or something?" hehe